Tales of the Parodyverse

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ag actually WROTE A STORY! YES! There is hope for me yet!
Sat Jan 07, 2006 at 01:44:34 pm EST
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A Very Parody Christmas - Part Seven and a Half. After Jason’s Part 6½ (7) and before Ian’s Part 8.
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A Very Parody Christmas - Part Seven and a Half. After Jason’s Part 6 ½ (7) and before Ian’s Part 8.



Trickshot watched Hatman and Zdenka stroll off arm in arm and smiled. “Huh. Well the broad is better for the Boy Scout anyway. But where the heck did that short Asian chick go? She looked like she’d be a good time. Ah well.”
Tricky reached into one of the small compartments in the straps on his chest and pulled out more mistletoe.
“Bingo!” He said with a grin as he saw one of the Wooster Sisters.

Upstairs Mister Epitome entered the same empty room that contained the wardrobe that the Juniors had entered.
“Strange. Everything seems in order. They must have left.” He scanned the only piece of furniture with his See-through vision. “What? Something is blocking my vision.”
He opened the wardrobe and found nothing inside.
“I’ll go downstairs and get Harper to investigate this.”
As the Paragon of Power exited the staircase Hallie greeted him. “Hi Dominic. Is everything all right?”
He thought for a moment then said, “Glory seems to have run off with the Juniors. I was just looking for her. Have you seen Harper? I was just talking to him.”
“And getting kissed by Amy too I saw.” She smiled and he realized she was gently teasing him. “Yes, Al is in the kitchen getting more little sandwiches. Have you seen Visionary?”
“No.” Mister Epitome moved towards the kitchen without even excising himself.
“Huh. He’s got something on his mind, that’s for sure. I wonder where Vish is at?”
Hallie checked all her camera and sensors that she had placed through out the Lighthouse and found her friend above beside the large beacon. He was sitting, looking at the shore.




Hallie was not the only set of eyes keenly aware of where Vish was. Outside in the cold a lone figure watched him. The figure did what the figure knew was wrong, never the less the figure could not help it.
The figure beckoned Visionary once more.
That’s when the flash of emerald light revealed Hallie had arrived to speak with Visionary.
The mysterious figure, cast in shadow, left for another day. The time would come. Maybe a couple months after Christmas? The figure had waited this long after all.




“So you’re parody versions of Harry Potter characters then?” Ham-Boy asked the red-headed, freckled Rob Vesley.
“Huh? Who’s Harry Potter?”
“Forget it Ham-Turd. They’re obviously from some world where those books don’t exist. Don’t you remember Multiverse 101 and 102?” Fashion Accessory explained.
“That’s the one Amazing Guy taught? He brought his kid, right?”
“Yeah. He couldn’t find a baby sitter for the youngest one. The kid melt Zack’s keyboard.”
“Shrimp has style, for a five year old.” Kerry smiled.
Hermoney Stranger spoke up with her matter-of-fact know-it-all attitude, “Besides, I would not worry if Rob doesn’t understand. That’s how he normally is.”
“HEY!” Rob complained.
Junior members Kerry Shepherdson, Fashion Accessory, Ham-Boy, Hacker 9 and Harlagaz had just gotten rescued by the robed Barry Hotter and his pals Hermoney Stranger and Rob Vesley and now the two groups of youth were walking over a rocky landscape.
“Alright dweebos, just where are we going?”
“We’re looking for a strange portal that Hermoney located with her Find-a-portal spell. If we can get there maybe we’ll be able to close it.” Barry Hotter explained. The youth looked very troubled.
“Is it just me or does your friend with the weird tattoo on his forehead look depressed?” FA asked Hermoney.
Rob answered for her, “Oh he’s just down cause he misses my sister Gabby. They’ve been snogging all the time.”
“ROB!”
“Well it’s true Hermoney!”
“Will you two shut up? Something is coming!”
The kids hide behind a collection of rocks as a army of ogres marched by.
“Where there is a whip, there is a way!” they sang as they marched.
“What are those rotters?” Rob asked. As he instinctively looked at Hermoney.
Zack was the one who answered, “Ogres!”
“You are quite wrong. They are NOT ogres. Ogres are clearly bigger. As it clearly explains in pages 512 through 534 of “Half-Moon Humphrey’s Guide to Strange Beasties”, “Ogres are very large and…OUCH!”
“KERRY!”
“Say one more word and I’ll punch you in the nose again!”
Rob turned his wand on Kerry and everyone could almost make out fire in her eyes. “You hit Hermoney! I’ll make you barf up slugs!”
“Try it freckles and you’ll REALLY have fiery hair!”
“Stop it both of you! You lot almost gave away our position!” Barry warned them.
Ham-Boy was relieved because the ogre army had left. Something still bothered him however. It was as if they were being watched.
“Juniors lets go! We don’t need these dweebs to find Glory and get out of here! Come on!”
“Very wellith. Farewell my short robed companions. We mightest meet again.” Harlagaz announced.
FA created a few more handkerchiefs for Hermoney. “Hey, sorry about Ker. She has a hard time making friends.”
“Are you sure you want to go it on your own?” Barry asked.
“Yeah. We’ll be fine. Good luck with that portal thing.”
FA ran off to join the other Juniors whom had already made it a small distance from the young wizards.
“Guys! Wait up! I’m coming..UGH!” FA was knocked down by a slimy, smelly, wide-eyed thin little man-like creatcher.
“She has it! She has my precious!” The creature grabbed one of FA’s rings and did a funny dance.
“MY PRECIOUS! We have you at last! GOLUM! GOLUM!”
“That’s my ring you slimy creep! My grandmother gave it to me!”
“Ooooh! Nasssty girl’s nasssty friends are coming! Smegoul must leave!”
The strange creature scampered off before the Juniors arrived.
”What befell you my lady” Harlagaz asked.
Kerry helped FA up. “My grandmothers ring was stolen by some little creep. He talked funny and kept calling it his precious.”
“That would be Golum.” Zack explained.
“Alright nerd. How come you know that?”
“Hey, I’ve seen Lord of the Rings. Haven’t you?”
A thin scarecrow of a man, in a bizarre collection of borrowed clothes called to them, “This way, children! Quickly. And beware the Jabberwock!”




To be continued in Ian’s Part 8










a.g.
Amazing Guy






Scott’s Site! Featuring Caption the Pic (where action figures talk!) and Amazing Tales on the Web (stories and micros of the Parodyverse!)



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